We All Want Love
We All Want Love - Lane Valise
When was the last time you were able to handle just being alone? People go and we find others to replace them. Just as quickly as we fell for them, we are able to disregard their position for a temporary desire. The burning desire to be wanted, loved, and appreciated. The need to be needed fuels uncalculated decisions that we think we need, not knowing that our want for it is much greater than we ever imagined.
Love is not a keychain or pocket filler. You can’t place it where you see fit unknowingly to the receiving party. Then when the keys aren’t functioning properly and your pants are so heavy that you can’t take one step, you find a way to play ‘victim’.
What’s absolutely appalling about refusing to be alone is the dangerous cycle it creates. Not only for you, but the people you involve. Have you ever heard of codependency? It is an emotional and behavioral condition that affects an individual’s ability to have a healthy, mutually satisfying relationship. This condition does not begin nor end with romantic relationships. A person can be codependent on a sibling, parent, friend, co-worker, the position is replaceable.
The revolving door will not cease without the proper treatment for this condition. Some of the symptoms of codependency are; caretaking, denial, obsessions, poor boundaries, dependency, low self-esteem, people-pleasing, reactivity, control, dysfunctional communication, problems with intimacy, and painful emotions.
We all experience the effects of being alone, but we don’t have to accept needing someone to make us feel better. Sure you may want someone there, who doesn’t? Try replacing that urge to need someone with a hobby or project. Starve that urge by solely focusing on yourself.
Beware of the insecurity that will try to creep up on you and coach you to believe you are not enough. Keep the tunnel vision on you. Listen to those little voices and hear them clearly. They mean nothing. The fact that you are even hearing doubt is confirmation that you are in fact making the right decision.
Codependency is real. We all suffer from symptoms of it. It’s more common than you think. When all dependencies fail the last man standing is you and that’s okay. Embrace it and give yourself some credit.
How many symptoms can you attest to? For more information on codependency and the steps to addressing this condition visit http://www.goodtherapy.org/therapy-for-codependency.html
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