"You're Going to Look Like You Had Brain Surgery"

I had no idea what was in store for me when my Neurologist ordered this test called an Ambulatory EEG. Don't ask me how I felt Tuesday morning when about 15 electrodes were placed on my scalp and forehead, then wrapped with gauze and tape. My doctor told me I would look like I just had brain surgery and I was looking at him like he was cray. Lol. But I stand here today, humbled by the entire experience. Believe me when I tell you, it took a whole 48 hours to come to this point. I was instructed to wear this test for two days to track my brain activity over a long period of time. Aside from my own insecurity of feeling like [everyone] was staring at me, it wasn't all that bad. I had a few double takes here and there. But surprisingly enough no one stopped and asked about it. I just knew they would. Well... with the exception of an older woman, who walked up to me while at work and asked, "Baby what happened to you?" Yes, I looked like I was in a terrible accident or something. But it wasn't until the day I had it removed that I was able to count my blessings. On the walk to the hospital I started thinking deeply about the two days of what I would call 'pure embarrassment.' I have the opportunity to only call this a test. I'm not scarred for life, I have two working legs, arms and eyes. What the heck am I complaining about? Some people spend an entire lifetime trying to convince the world, along with themselves that it's okay to look [different]. I couldn't believe I spent hours in the mirror trying to cover my head with wigs and scarfs. Why am I so ashamed when the mere purpose for the test is to assist ME with a diagnosis? Isn't that initially all that I want for myself? You would think. What I learned from this humbling experience is how far insecurities can distance you from pure gratitude. The courage it takes to endure something that makes you feel so uncomfortable is one to appreciate. It makes me feel like there's nothing I can't do. I am blessed and on a journey to a completely healthy life. Thank God. #EverydayGirlStruggle