My Big Happy Blended Family

Hi, my name is Lanae Valise Gorham Dillard. Not only am I apart of a blended family, but I have created my own blended family at the age of 26. My cycle started with four sisters born as whole sisters and raised by their single mother. Two of the youngest sisters, one of which is my mom had children at a young age. Those same two sisters later married brothers, one of which was my father. Then there came me. Born with my mother and father together, a half sister and one big happy blended family. The end. Of the beginning of the story. That is. This blended family set up was really cool. My uncle and my aunt were both blood relatives. There wasn't anyone new to meet, we were all family. But unfortunately life happened and these two families I just spoke of are no longer a family. Those two marriages ended. Which opened the door to another cycle of blended families. I watched my mom remarry in 2007 to a husband with kids. And my dad remarried in 2009, and later had a kid. So now I have two half sisters, one of which I shared my entire life with and a number of step aunts, uncles, and cousins. I have a huge family!

This experience has broadened my mindset of unpredictable happenings. It's a very unconventional way to introduce a child to relationships. There is no 'how to' traditional manual in my family; like an Alma Mater passed down to each generation. There is some kind of diverse system set up, but it's different. Every family has their stories and functions differently. We are all products of those chosen systems. So what type of blend are you from? There are so many articles out there on advice on how to keep peace within the family. But honestly none of them will fit the mold for each challenged blended family. You have to consider so many different people's feelings, opinions and suggestions. Trust me, birthdays, graduations, and anything pertaining to me where both sides of my family are required to be in attendance aren't always so fun. If one person comes, maybe someone else may consider not coming. If they both come there's an awkward energy of people in the room. We are all only human and we have feelings towards different things concerning the other party. But what can you do, it's your family? And I love my family. And we love our blend. We make the best of it. We aren't picture perfect from a long shot, but this is the reality of it all. That was my pictured past and present, which brings me to the future. At the age of 20, I had the right intentions and married my son's father. But what I was missing was the maturity to take on such a serious role and learn how to become a mom. Total disaster! Please don't try this at home kids. Wait, wait, wait! I can't stress enough wait until you are ready, willing, an able to commit to someone in that magnitude before you decide to marry.

I now have a six year old, I'm divorced and well aware that I have set up my life to be blended with someone elses. That 1/3 of American weddings that form stepfamilies is me. I live it everyday and I will continue to. The only upside I can say is the preparation I've endured to take on yet another family. Should be a piece of cake right? I'm ready to extend the blend...